i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
