I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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