i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
