I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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