Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
vagina is talking i cant
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You took a bar mat shot.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
