Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We have started to decorate penises.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
