It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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