I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
