dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
