can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
