I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
