Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
cat food counts as protein by the way
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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