im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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