I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize