so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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