Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
