woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
