I hope mine doesn't look like that
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
