Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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