Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
