So drunk, too bad you don't want this
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
