apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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