New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
