dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
