i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
