There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
