Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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