guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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