So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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