Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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