Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
