she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
