Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
