So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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