I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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