Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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