im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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