Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
