I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
