There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
