Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I've blown a few things in my day
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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