Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
