Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
there's paper in my vomit.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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