Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
one might say we're banned from that church
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
