So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
