Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
