I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
