I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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