We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
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