Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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