Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just found puke in my bra..
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
