I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
