You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so that wasnt chicken after all
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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